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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27526159">Apologies</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miya_Eulik/pseuds/Miya_Eulik'>Miya_Eulik</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Apologies, Finally talking the things out and so..., Gen, Missing Szene Season 3 Episode 1, Panic Attacks, Redemption</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 06:02:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,601</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27526159</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miya_Eulik/pseuds/Miya_Eulik</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Saporian airship blew up and Rapunzel arrived safely on the ground, everyone thought that everything was over. But then the princess learns that all the conspirators had been arrested again, including the friend she had finally regained. No one of them expected it but it still happened.</p><p>Back in the dungeons, Varian is plagued by thoughts about him deserving all of this. However, this realization does not protect him from the panic that rises in his heart. When the princess finally arrives in the dungeons to get him out of there, it is already too late, he is too far away.</p><p>All this year Rapunzel had been afraid to talk about what happened a year ago. But now it is time to finally talk about everything and to apologize and also to hear his apologies.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider &amp; Varian, Rapunzel &amp; Varian (Disney)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>76</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Apologies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So, hmm, I felt like a little bit angst and then I sat down and this happened. But first of all here is my obligatory: English is not my nativa tongue, my native tongue is Russian and I currently live in Germany and I also write in German, so if something sounds strange, then I'm sorry, I'm still learning, so please bear with me. I write this before each of my English fanfictions, just in case, because I still don't feel quite so confident in my English yet.</p><p>Now to the story. First of all, I actually liked Varian's Redemption Arc in the actual series, but I think there was something missing. I liked the fact that he figured out on his own that what he had done was wrong, that he had hurt people and no longer wanted to be that person anymore, even though he had Andrew as the only person he could talk to all this year. Usually it is handled a little differently in shows or cartoons or whatever, the protagonist runs after the antagonist and cires: "No, you don't have to do that, we're friends ... blah, blah, blah friendship, blah, blah blah, etc.". So basically like with Cassandra. Only this antagonists to just be killed off afterward, yeah, I am looking at you Marvel, poor Otto. I liked the way they did it with Varian here, after all, it didn't depend on Rapunzel whether he changes sides again, but only on himself.</p><p>But something was still missing, because I think that both sides had to apologize, instead we just got no apologies at all? Fortunately, there are fanfictions. This is what I would have liked for the series with a little extra spice in the form of: when it was over, the guards picked up the Saporians and accidentally also took Varian with them ... I'm a evil, little writer and i like to bring my characters to the edge of desperation.</p><p>Disclaimer: Tangled doesn't belong to me, it's Disneys, otherwise we would have more drama and more blood and anyway...maybe it's better this way...</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eugene knew that Rapunzel could take care of himself, he had known that for a very long time. Still, his heart couldn't help but skip a beat when the airship was dismantled into its pieces in a big, green explosion. His head knew of course that she would survive, after all she always did and an explosion wasn't the worst thing she had ever faced in her life, but his heart roared mercilessly at him that the love of his life had been on this airship whose glowing parts now were trickling down on the city like a strange, smoking rain. Tormenting, slow seconds passed before he finally saw the cocoon of sunlight and indestructible magic hair slowly sink to the ground and his beating heart could finally fell silent.</p><p></p><div>
  <p></p>
  <div>
    <p>In the end, he felt pretty stupid, it was Rapunzel after all, she had survived worse, in all this years he had knew her. And wasn't he the one who claimed all would be fine just mere seconds ago? His legs started moving on their own account as he ran towards the city, out of the corner of his eye he could see Lance following him, but he couldn't pay attention to him right now. She was already on the ground when Eugene got there, her hair no longer glowed and lay loosely around her petite figure and a smile danced on her lips. He pulled her into his arms when he finally reached her.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“We should just stop doing things like this, you know?” spoke the former thief  as he pulled her a little away and looked her up and down, looking for injuries that were just not there, that he knew were not there and yet couldn't help but look for them. Pascal peeked out of her hair, his little arms tightly clenched in her golden locks, he looked up at him for a few heartbeats out of his large eyes, then he nodded slowly in agreement. Eugene laughed when he saw that, and Rapunzel joined in with a gentle chuckle.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Sorry, Pascal” she fished her friend out of her hair and held him on her palms in front of her face. The chameleon just snorted and demonstratively waved it off, which elicited another giggle from the princess.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Then it’s really over, huh?” Eugene sighed deeply and wistfully. Couldn't they just go back to this life in luxury? The one where there were no dangers and no explosions and no betrayals? Everything used to be so much easier.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Not quite” Rapunzel smiled up at him, looking uncertain, but also determined at the same time “there is still a promise that I have to keep” oh, right, the kid, Eugene sighed deeply, he completely forgot about him.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>It wasn't like he was not happy about Varian apparently coming back to his senses again. It was clearly way better to have the kid on their side then against them. But he still couldn't help but mistrust him. He had betrayed them once, after all, so what was going to stop him from doing it again if he didn't get his way? He didn't know what really happened between Rapunzel and him - he hadn't been there and whenever he asked his girlfriend, she always waved it off and changed the subject.</p>
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    <p>He knew very well what exactly Rapunzel wanted to do to save Quirin, after all he had seen the destructive power of this new incantation with his own eyes. It could very well be able to destroy the amber. But what if it just wouldn't work? What if Quirin was long dead and simply could no longer be saved? It could be the battle of Old Corona all over again. But maybe it simply wouldn't. Only time could show and if it made Rapunzel happy, then it was okay. Who was he to deny someone else a second chance when he himself had already taken it?</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>It would have been much easier for Varian to stay on Andrew's side, but he had chosen not to. That was probably enough for now and should something happen again, then they would deal with him as they had done the last time. But still he just wasn't able to not worry. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Where is hair-stripes anyway?” the former thief asked, looking around, but couldn't see the kid anywhere “I thought he was with you”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Yes, he was. When it became clear that we have to make the airship explode, I set him down on one of the roofs” the princess brushed a strand of hair out of her face “look, he is very sorry for everything that happened” she continued, somewhat uncertain “he even wanted to be the one left behind on the airship. He was ready to die to save Corona, to make everything right”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Hey” Eugene raised his hands defensively “if you forgive him, then I'll do so as well, sunshine” for these words he got a big, dazzling smile, as bright as the sun itself. She opened her mouth to say something, but then someone cleared their throat behind them. The two turned and saw a guard in the golden armour of Corona standing behind them. It was neither Stan nor Pete, the former thief had probably seen the man once in the castle, he looked vaguely familiar, but he didn't know his name.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Your Highness” the man bowed deep before Rapunzel “all Saporians are in our custody” he reported with a salute.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Oh, thank you” Rapunzel made an awkward curtsey “are they all under arrest?”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Yes, Your Highness, the danger is over” the guard nodded.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“That’s great” the princess sighed deeply in relief and turned to her boyfriend “we should go look for Varian, he should be around here somewhere” she continued, searching the roofs for her regained friend.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“You don't have to worry about the boy” the guard spoke “We caught him too, he was on one of the roofs. He should be back in the dungeons by now, where he belongs” oh crap, thought Eugene. Rapunzel's smile derailed as she slowly spun to face the guard.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“What, but…?” she broke off.</p>
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  <div>
    <p>“As I said, all of our enemies are in our custody again, the danger has been averted, Your Highness” replied the man, hesitant and uncertain. They should have known it was going to happen, after all, nobody but them knew that Varian was on their side again. It still was surprising.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“He helped us” Rapunzel breathed barely audibly “he risked his life to help us”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Please tell me you didn’t put him in the same cell as the others” Eugene asked through clenched teeth. Because if they did, then ... he did not want to think about what Andrew and his flower children were going to do to the kid who had betrayed them. Prison was not a pleasant place, Eugene knew it from experience, even if he had never spent very long in one himself. In there, things like morality and decency did not matter, all that mattered was strength and a child would never stand a chance against an adult, no matter how smart that child was. And that was exactly what Varian was, a child. Without his alchemy and his machines he was nothing more than a boy and in there he will not have either of those available to defend himself.</p>
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    <p>“No, we haven’t” the guard shook his head and Eugene let out a relieved breath he didn’t realize he was holding “we didn't want them to have the opportunity to communicate with each other and thus perhaps make a plan. They are all in single cells” his gaze wandered indecisively from Rapunzel to Eugene and back again “I don't quite understand, Your Highness” he finally said.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“He is no longer our enemy!” Rapunzel almost hissed “he helped us; he risked his life for us!”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Hey, hey, Blondie” Eugene put his hands on her shoulders “it's all right, we'll just go to the castle and we'll get him out of there. It's been less than an hour he's been in there”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“But…” the princess looked up at him with slightly reddened eyes, eyes that were already shining with first tears “…I can't let him down again” she added. So that is what it was all about, the former thief suppressed a deep sigh, it was another piece of the puzzle about what happened a year ago. It somehow fitted in with what the man knew, even if it was still not very much.</p>
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  <div>
    <p>“And you won’t” he gave her a warm smile and turned back to the guard “bring us to him” he could see that the man was still having trouble understanding what had actually happened, he could almost see the reluctance in his eyes to actually carry out this order. Still the guard gave a curt nod, turned, and led them back to the castle. In passing, they asked Lance to check on the royal couple, then they followed him.</p>
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    <p> </p>
  </div>
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    <p>It was a strange feeling to be back in the dungeons, breathing in the cold, musty air, feeling the iron cuffs around his wrists. At least this time they had left him his gloves so that his skin was protected against the metal, in fact the only thing they had taken away from him was his three alchemy-balls that he had left after the fight on the airship. But Varian knew they will do it sooner or later, they had done it last time, after all. Of course, he had always knew it could ultimately lead to this, since their prison-break last week. It was something they all knew; should they fail they would end up in the dungeons again, or worse, on the gallows.</p>
  </div>
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    <p>It had been something Varian had feared all this time, those few days of freedom he had managed to steal. To land down here again, this time forever. For a brief, little, tiny moment the boy was angry, angry at Rapunzel for betraying him once again, angry at himself for making the same mistake all over again, being naive enough to trust her again. But those thoughts passed as quickly as they came.</p>
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  <div>
    <p>Varian no longer wanted to be angry, he no longer wanted to blame others for his own failures. It was his own fault that he was here again. Nobody had forced him to join Andrew, nobody had forced him to kidnap the queen, nobody had forced him to pour this damn solution over the stone and seal his father's fate. It had all been his own fault, his own choices, his own mistakes, he had made so thoughtlessly. Despair wasn't an excuse to do things that were just wrong, that he'd always known were wrong. But despite this realization - and the boy knew very well that it was the truth - he could do nothing about the ice-cold fingers of fear, which grabbed his wildly pounding heart and pressed it mercilessly.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Varian was alone in his maximum-security cell - and he should be grateful for he wouldn't survive very long if they had put him back in a cell with Andrew. It was a tiny room with cold stone walls and a wooden bench hanging from the wall on chains. It did not have bars like the normal cells, instead it had a heavy iron door with a small, barred window much too high for him to see through.</p>
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  <div>
    <p>He had only been in here once, shortly after his first arrest, they put him in here so he could cool down, so he would stop thrashing around him like a savage - not that the guards had any trouble to keep him at bay. Varian knew what it was there for, it was meant for prisoners who stepped out of line, a punishment worse than the normal cells. At least a year ago it had had the necessary effect on him. Of course it hadn't calmed him down. How could it? But after a week in here he hadn't dared to defend himself against the guards out of fear to end up in here again and he had almost been grateful when they had brought him out of there again.</p>
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  <div>
    <p>But now he was back and didn't know how long they would keep him in here. He had broken out, erased the royal couple's memories, pretended to be the king's advisor, built a bomb that almost killed everyone - it could be months before they decided he had enough.</p>
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  <div>
    <p>The cell was just big enough that he could take five steps in one direction before he got to the wall - he knew it, he had measured it a year ago. It had no windows, the only light that came in was through the tiny window in the door, which cast strange shadows in the corners. The air was so incredibly thin in here that Varian had difficulty filling his lungs. His heart thundered in his ears, bouncing off the silent walls like an echo. It was not real, the boy thought feverishly, he just imagined it, a human heart was not beating loud enough to produce an echo.</p>
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    <p>He will die in here…</p>
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    <p>Death had not been an uncommon thought in the past year, on particularly terrible days Varian had even wished they would just hang him, then it would all be over with, then he would no longer have to see his father's motionless figure in his dreams. And didn't he deserve it after all he had done? He almost became a murderer in his anger, why not punish him with something that was appropriate?</p>
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    <p>Yet he was afraid of death, of the nothing that would await him, of the finality that it would bring with it. But it was hard not to think about it when you were alone with your thoughts, when you knew it was possible. To hear the guards openly speak about what might happen to traitors to the Crown. And now to be here again...</p>
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  <div>
    <p>No, Rapunzel will come and get him out of here, he had helped her, after all. It was nothing more than a simple misunderstanding, the guards who arrested him after he came down from the roof just didn't know yet that he had changed sides.</p>
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  <div>
    <p>Rapunzel will come and clear everything up. Why should she? Asked a small, contemptuous voice in the back of his mind that sounded suspiciously like his own, but different, angrier, more malicious, more bitter. She has let you down once before, you waited weeks after the blizzard for her to come. You were angry, but you still believed that she would come. She did not come, she did not come until you forced her to. It's no different now. She doesn't need you anymore, nobody needs you. Why should she come and risk trusting you again? Nobody will come and you know that for yourself.</p>
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    <p>It was a painful truth, but it was just that, the truth. Nobody will come and he will stay in here until they move him to another cell, maybe even back to Andrew. When that happened, he will not have long to live, after all, the man had made it clear enough what happened to traitors to Saporia. Maybe it was better that way, maybe it was the right ending for someone like him. He had wanted it that way himself, hadn’t he? It had been clear to him from the start that he was the bad guy in this story and the bad guy always died in the end. There was no other ending for someone like him. At least he had done something good in the end, or at least tried to.</p>
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  <div>
    <p>He will die in here…</p>
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    <p>The air around him suddenly thinned, making him gasp as his lungs contracted in search of oxygen, he was getting too scarce of. The walls around him suddenly moved towards him, closing closer and closer and closer around him and his heart got louder and louder in his ears. The sight swam before his eyes and he was not sure why it was happening. Was he crying? He didn't know. The handcuffs around his wrists tightened, pressing further and further and further into his flesh until he could no longer feel his fingertips. He gasped for air and clenched his trembling hands into fists, which he pressed close to his chest, hoping to shield himself from his own fear.</p>
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    <p>He was having a panic attack, Varian realized helplessly.</p>
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    <p>At the beginning he had had it very often; when he was startled from nightmares and could no longer breathe, when the cell around him was too dark or too small or too stuffy for him. Andrew had explained what happened to him and how he could deal with it. He had to breathe, he had to somehow manage to get his breathing back under control. He tried to count in his mind, but the numbers got all mixed up. One, two ... what followed after two again? Four? The boy had never done it alone, it had always been Andrew's voice counting for him, helping him to calm his breath and his heart so that he could see and think and breathe again. But now the Saporian was no longer there and even if he had been, his only help would probably have been a snapped neck.</p>
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    <p>One...two... three...he will never be able to breathe again, his lungs will collapse from the lack of air and...</p>
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    <p>As if from afar, he could hear a strange, squeaking noise, as if something heavy and metal was being dragged across the stonfloor. It became much brighter around him all of a sudden. Someone drew in a sharp breath and Varian did not know if it was himself or someone else. What difference did that even make? It was probably just a guard who had come to tell him he would stay in here forever. Then the boy suddenly felt hands around him, strange hands and he pushed himself closer to the icy wall in his back. The air became even thinner, even lesser, he will suffocate…</p>
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    <p>“I am so sorry” a woman's voice breathed over him and it sounded familiar, but he couldn't assign it to a face even if he tried “I didn’t want that…it should have never happened…I…”</p>
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    <p>“Blondie, give him some space to breath” said another, also familiar voice and the arms finally let go of him. Varian could see two vague silhouettes around him, one light and the other dark, but he couldn't make out their faces. He opened his mouth to tell them something, he did not know exactly what it would be, but it didn't matter because all that escaped his throat was an undefined, choked gasp.</p>
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    <p>“Hey, kid, it’s me” said the second voice, he could feel a large hand on his shoulder, but it wasn't as intrusive as the woman's arms had been “you have to breath” the voice continued “everything is all right, we'll get you out of here, it's all over but you have to breathe. Can you do that for me?” the man asked and Varian really wanted to. He wanted to breathe, he wanted to see what was happening around him again. He wanted to breath. Varian managed a gentle nod, not sure if the man had seen it.</p>
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    <p>“Good” the voice spoke again “just count with me, ok? In, one, two, three, four, out, five, six, seven, eight” it was easier to follow these instructions when they were voiced. He breathed in, the air stinging in his lungs, but he kept counting anyway, then he breathed out. He didn't know how long they kept repeating it, just sitting there while he relearned how to breathe. But it worked, slowly his lungs got used to having air in them again, his vision slowly cleared, and he could finally make out the two people kneeling on the floor in front of him. Rapunzel and Eugene.</p>
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    <p>The princess's eyes were wide and glittering with tears, some of those tears running slowly down her cheeks. She had put her hands over her mouth, as if she were afraid she might utter a sound that would destroy all of this again. Eugene was the one who put his hand on Varian's shoulder, who was counting for him in his calm voice.</p>
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    <p>“Good” Eugene said calmly “you are doing great, just keep breathing” Varian took another breath, and with each one it became easier, more natural, more real “good” repeated the former thief with satisfaction, gently grasping the boy's hands “come on let's get rid of these nasty things now, shall we?” he pulled his hands from Varian's chest with gentle force and opened the cuffs. The metal clinked gently as it hit the stone floor and the young alchemist flinched involuntarily. His hands were suddenly lighter, and his fingertips tingled as the feeling slowly returned to them.</p>
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    <p>“I am so sorry, Varian” Rapunzel sniffed as new tears ran down her cheeks like little streams “I didn't know this was going to happen, I didn't want to, I…” she broke off. Varian opened his mouth to say something, to tell her he was not angry with her, that he never wanted to be angry again, but his tongue suddenly seemed to have forgotten how to form words. He did not understand why she was crying in the first place, he deserved to end up here after all, after everything he had done. The two let him sit and breathe for a while, then Eugene finally got up.</p>
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    <p>“Better, kid?” he asked, still in that soft voice. Varian nodded slowly “great then let's get out of here, okay? Man, I hate this place” the boy nodded again. Eugene gently helped him up from the wooden bench. Varina's legs gave way under his weight, as if his body had forgotten it even had legs to stand on, as if his legs were made of lead. The former thief held him up, clutching his shoulder gently.</p>
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    <p>Rapunzel jumped up from the floor too and stepped to his other side, now also holding him upright as they left the cell with slow steps. Why were they even bothering? The boy asked himself, confused. They had no reason to do it, after all, they no longer needed him. He would understand if it were only the princess, after all it was in her nature, but Eugene as well? He had no reason to do it, he had hesitated to trust him again. So why? It would have been so much easier for both of them to just leave him here.</p>
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    <p>When they finally left the cell, a guard was waiting for them at the door. Varian couldn't help but back away from him. He was among those who arrested him after the explosion. Surely, he will be against Varian being free again.</p>
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    <p>“Are you sure, Your Highness? Don’t you think it’s a little to hasty, to let him…” the guard asked indecisively, fixing a hard look on the boy, but falling silent after seeing Rapunzel's angry look.</p>
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    <p>“Yes, I am” replied the princess in a hard voice and quickened her pace a little, so that the boy had difficulty keeping up with her. But it was all right, he thought, the sooner he was out of here, the better. If Rapunzel was the one who got him out of here, no one will try to lock him up again. Right? Varian forced his leaden legs to walk faster and the two adults held him upright as he stumbled out of the dungeons.</p>
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    <p> </p>
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    <p>Rapunzel was feeling terrible. Her mind raced as she and Eugene slowly led Varian out of the dungeons when the boy stumbled between them with almost every step and they had to hold him upright. He was pale as a ghost and she could still hear his breath catching and it was all her fault.</p>
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    <p>Rationally, the princess knew it wasn't her fault. She hadn't ordered her guards to arrest him and put him in that tiny, stuffy hole - and how could anyone even put a person in that awful cell? She knew what it was like to be a prisoner, but her tower had windows and blankets and pillows and air. Still, she couldn't help but think that she should have prevented it - she didn't know how, but she should have done it anyway.</p>
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    <p>She had shielded herself from her guilt all this year, ignoring it as she had done with the boy whose arm she was clutching to keep him from falling. She had pretended nothing had happened, had gone on her joyful journey, and had experienced adventures without wasting any thoughts on the enemy she had created. For this was exactly what she did. She could have prevented all of this, if only she hadn't been such a coward and had checked on him after the blizzard if she had at least tried to keep her word. If she had actually been his friend as she had claimed to be.</p>
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    <p>She knew, of course, that it wouldn't have made any difference, she couldn't possibly have saved Quirin then, but she could have saved Varian. Instead, she had left him alone with everything, more than that, she had allowed for him to be the only one who took the blame for all of this. Not herself, who had tried nothing, not her father, who had known the danger and decided to ignore it, just a fourteen-year-old child who was desperate and had seen no other option but violence to simply be heard. They had all betrayed him first, long before he had done it to them.</p>
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    <p>She will never let him down again, Rapunzel decided bitterly, she will no longer shield herself from her problems because it was easier that way. Maybe then she would finally stop losing the people who were important to her. First Varian, then Cassandra, two friends she had hurt without knowing or wanting to. She had to learn to pay more attention to others, after all, her world was no longer just a tower, Pascal and Gothel. Yes, it had been a lot easier back then, just her and Pascal and a mother who did not listen to her. But now she had other people around her and it was not just about her. Her actions and words had an impact on others, and she could no longer pretend she was alone in this world. She had to learn to talk to others and to pay more attention to others and then maybe she will stop to push away or hurt the people around her. She had to learn to apologize for her mistakes and actually mean it.</p>
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    <p>Rapunzel and Eugene brought Varian to one of the guest rooms, the princess could feel the confused looks of the servants in her back and also the contemptuous and even angry eyes of exact these servants on the boy. Varian hadn't said a single word since they had found him in the dungeons, Rapunzel was not sure he even could. He had looked so horrible when they found him, as if he couldn't see them and she hadn't known how to help him. Fortunately for all of them, Eugene knew, she wouldn't know what to do if he hadn't come with her. Now the boy looked a little better, but still so incredibly pale and so incredibly quiet that she almost wished he would accuse her for having been thrown back into the dungeons, as if the last few hours never happened. But he didn't, and this silence was even worse than the anger, which would have been entirely justified.</p>
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    <p>Varian said nothing when the two adults led him to the bed in this guest room when Rapunzel put a blanket around his shoulders - it wasn't necessary, she knew that, but she also didn't know what else to do to help and she felt so incredibly helpless and useless and how could she have let it happen? He followed the two of them with an undefined look, as if he couldn't understand what they were doing.</p>
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    <p>“Uhm, Eugene” Rapunzel said, a little indecisive “could you bring us some tea, please?” she turned to her boyfriend, who raised an eyebrow, but who seemed to get the hint. She did not really want him to leave, she did not want to have this conversation alone, but she knew she had to.</p>
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    <p>“All right, Blondie” Eugene finally nodded, gave her a short, encouraging kiss on the forehead and turned to go and she wanted to run after him and beg him to stay. What was she even thinking? How should she do it without him? Eugene always knew which words to choose and when. But she? She was not able to have one friend she managed not to hurt.</p>
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    <p>“I am fine” Varian said as Eugene closed the door behind him. His voice sounded strangely choked, as if he had forgotten how to form words “look I…I know what I did and that…that you don't have any reason to trust me and that is okay, the danger is gone, you don't need me anymore, not that I had actually been any help, I...I understand that, but...but...I give you my word that I will never again...never again...” he broke off and bit his lip. Rapunzel knew exactly what he wanted to say, what he wanted to beg her for: I am no longer a danger to you, so just let me go. That thought alone almost broke her heart, that he had to think that way, that he had to be afraid at all.</p>
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    <p>But wasn't his fear justified? After all, she hadn't done anything that would make him think she wasn't going to put him back in the dungeons when she no longer needed him. That she hadn't just taken him with her during their escape because he might be useful to her, that she had no choice but to trust him for the moment and wouldn't just take it away afterwards. There it was, the moment to make it right again, for her to finally deal with what she had been hiding from for a whole year. Because of course she hadn't intended to throw him back in the dungeons and simply forget about him again. How could she? She just wished it didn't have to take a whole year for a reconciliation that should have taken place right after the battle of Old Corona. She took a deep breath before starting to speak, before opening her mouth to finally face what had happened.</p>
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    <p>“I am sorry” was the first thing Rapunzel said.</p>
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    <p>“What?” Varian breathed confused, his eyes laying heavy on her “Why should you apologize to me, you haven't done anything wrong, you…” he broke off indecisively “I am the one who have to apologize, not you”</p>
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    <p>“I think we should both apologize” the princess shook her head and sat next to him on the bed, crossing her fingers in her lap and staring down at them as if they had the answers to all the questions she had “And I think we should talk about everything that happened” she took a deep breath and looked up at him “I let you down” she finally spoke despite the lump that had formed in her throat. It was so hard to say, to admit something she had known about for so long but had not dared to actually voice. </p>
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    <p>“You didn't had a choice, the blizzard and the kingdom…” Varian replied confused, “It wouldn't have worked anyway, you couldn't do anything against the amber and…” he broke off.</p>
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    <p>“Maybe, but I should have at least tried to” she replied. Now she had said it, the thoughts that she had buried deep inside her, just so as not to have to deal with them “after the blizzard I should have gone to Old Corona. Even if I couldn't have helped, at least I would have been there, and you wouldn't be alone with all of this. Instead, I told myself that it couldn't be too bad, that you would come back again if you really needed my help. Do you know what I did when the blizzard was over?”</p>
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    <p>“I had a creative block” she laughed contemptuously “I took a drawing class to solve it instead of checking on you. And I knew it, deep down in my heart, I knew it was wrong. But I still did it. And when everyone suddenly said you attacked me during the blizzard, when I heard the people talk, I didn't make it right. I just let them. I just pretended I hadn't heard anything and just ignored it because that way I didn't have to deal with the whole situation. And when you came to steal the flower, I didn't even ask why you needed it in the first place and whether I could help you in any other way and then everyone was against you all of a sudden and I just joined that even though I knew it wasn't the whole truth. Because it was so easier for me, because it was so more convenient for me” her eyes stung with tears and she wiped them away with the back of her hand. </p>
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    <p>“And after the battle of Old Corona” she continued softly “when no one was asking or even trying to understand what had actually happened, why you went so far, I was relieved, because then I didn't have to tell anyone that I was at fault as well. It was so much easier to keep silent then to tell the truth. It was so much easier to just let you take all the blame” she gave a choked sob and buried her face in her hands. What had she done? How could she? And now it was happening again, this time with Cassandra, and there was nothing she could do about it.</p>
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    <p>Rapunzel did not know how long she sat there and cried, but suddenly she could feel a hand on her trembling shoulder, a warm hand, a friendly hand.</p>
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    <p>“It’s not your fault, Rapunzel” Varian said softly “You couldn't do anything even if you had come. It would not have changed much. I don't know what I would have done if you had come and it had not worked. I was not in a very…nice place back then. I would probably have blamed you for it not working” great, now he was the one comforting her and not the other way around. Didn't she mean to do exactly the opposite? Comfort him and reassure him that everything was all right now? Instead, she did it again, made it all about herself, draw the attention to her own problems, even though his were far greater.</p>
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    <p>“I still should have come” she breathed into her hands “then we could have looked for a solution together. Instead, you were all alone, a whole kingdom against you and no other option to simply be heard then to…” she stopped, unable to finish the sentence. Then kidnapping the queen and forcing them all to help him.</p>
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    <p>“It's not an excuse for what I did” he sighed beside her, his breath catching again, as if it were stuck in his throat. It sounded almost like back in the cell, just a few minutes ago. No, she couldn't let him hyperventilate again and Eugene wasn't there to help, and she just couldn't, didn't know how “It’s a miracle no one died, that I didn’t…” he broke off again, probably unable to finish the sentence.</p>
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    <p>“But it's an explanation, it's a reason, and I should have explained it to the others” she lifted her head back up to him, grabbed his gloved hands with trembling fingers “Instead I allowed you to be branded as the bad guy by the others, even though they didn't know the full story. Can you ever forgive me for this?” her voice sounded way too desperate to her own ears, but she really was desperate. A few agonizing moments passed in which Varian was silent, in which Rapunzel waited for his answer, whatever it may be. It could be seconds or hours - no, it probably weren't hours, she would have noticed if it had actually been hours. Right?</p>
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    <p>“I forgive you” the boy finally spoke tonelessly, and this sentence felt as if a heavy load had fallen from Rapunzel's shoulders, she felt lighter, like herself again.</p>
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    <p>She flew around his neck, hugging him tightly and he sat there, stiff as a stick, as if he didn't know how to deal with it.</p>
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    <p>“Thank you”, she breathed softly.</p>
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    <p>“And can you forgive me, that I…” Varian began and broke off.</p>
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    <p>“I already have” she laughed. Because it was true, she had forgiven him the moment he decided to stand against Andrew and the Saporians. Maybe it had been naive to do it so lightly, maybe she was nothing more than a naive, stupid girl. Many would probably tell her that it was too easy, that she had done it too quickly, and maybe they were right about it, but maybe she was right, and the others weren't. And it didn't really matter, she finally had her friend back and that should be all that really mattered.</p>
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    <p>“Thank you” he replied softly and finally returned her hug. Rapunzel didn't know how long they sat like that because she didn't really want to let go of him, but this decision was made for her. The locked door to the room was opened and Eugene peeked in with a tray with a steaming teapot and several cups in his hands.</p>
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    <p>“Done?” he asked. Rapunzel moved away from Varian and nodded gently “Good” the former thief came in and closed the door behind him, put the tray on the bedside table and continued “the people in the kitchens said this tea helps you sleep” he poured some of the brew into one of the mugs and then pressed it into Varian's hands, who took it in confusion, but made no move to actually drink it “come on, you have to drink it, it was a long day”</p>
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    <p>“Yes” Rapunzel agreed and stood up “it's been a very long day for all of us and it's getting late you should go to sleep. You can have this room”</p>
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    <p>“But…” started Varian and broke off again.</p>
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    <p>“No objections” Rapunzel smiled down at him, “And tomorrow we'll go to Old Corona and get your father out”</p>
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    <p>“What?” the boy almost dropped the cup in his hands after these words, but he managed to catch it in time “How?”</p>
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    <p>“It had been a very long journey and I found a way” Rapunzel explained “I'll tell you tomorrow, but now you should sleep” With these words the Princess pulled Eugene out of the room and closed the door behind her. She wasn't ready to tell Varian about the second incantation because then she would have to talk about Cassandra, and she couldn't do that just yet. After all, she could allow herself one night before she had to do so. It was too late to leave now anyway; they all needed their sleep and she longed for her own bed after the long year on the road. And tomorrow, tomorrow she will be finally able to make things right and it all would finally be over.</p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's done, I hope you had fun. As always, any form of criticism is more than welcome and appreciated. At the end, I have a few more things to add. </p><p>First of all, I added something to the scene with Rapunzel and Eugene meeting again after the explosion ... to be honest, I no longer had the dialogues in my head and just added what I thought just fits.</p><p>Also, I added that Rapunzel knew beforehand that Varian had been accused of attacking her during the blizzard. It wasn't like that in canon, of course, but I always found it strange how little surprised she looked when Varian told her this. I mean, she didn't ask why everyone thinks like that, she wasn't indignant or anything, she just didn't say anything. I wouldn't necessarily interpret it that she definitely knew it in the actual show, but I still find it interesting to go into that a little more here. Maybe she picked it up somewhere and just ignored it, we all remember that the entire time she was completely overwhelmed with the situation and just didn't know how to deal with it, so she didn't deal with it at all.</p><p>I don't want to say here that Rapunzel was to blame for what happened at the end of season 1, I think they're both to blame and at the same time just don‘t. For example, I think Cassandra acted shitty too, she saw how desperate Varian was during the blizzard and just ignored it, she may not have heard the full story, but she saw that something wasn't right and just ignored it. I don't even want to start with Frederic here. It's just everyone's fault and it sucks and all...I tried to write a One Shot here that includes what I thought was missing, but still fits canon.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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